Inlägg
Om de skadade/hjälpsökande får ifrågasätta och betrakta som fel och skadligt och faktiskt orättvist... Om de kan komma förbi självklander och skuld... Först då kan saker verkligen lösas upp?? Inte förr? Fast det är klart, man måste ju själv vilja ta itu... Ingen kan "få" någon annan att göra det...
Jag har fler blogginlägg som jag vill skriva; citera mer ur Freyd i kapitlet "Creating Connections - Long-Lasting Damage" och ur neurologen Jonathan Pincus' bok "Base Instinct - What Makes Killers Kill?" ISBN 0393-32323-4 kapitlet "Hitler and Hatred".
Och så pratade de i "Gomorron Sverige" nu på SVT nu på morgonen om barnarbete i värden, att barn är utslitna kroppsligen redan innan de når vuxenåldern. Och att barnarbete inte bara existerar i den fattiga världen, utan också bland annat i USA... De intervjuade en LO-kvinna om detta. Som menar att anledningen att detta också kan ske i rika länder beror på att de har en svag fackföreningsrörelse i dessa länder.
Jag utvecklar detta nedan på engelska tror jag...
If people get the opportunity to articulate things safely, with someone that doesn't moralize, but knows deeply and from own experiences what it is about, then tensions and compulsions slowly gets dissolved...
If they are given the opportunity and permission to question and look at and consider as wrong and injurious and in fact unfair what they have been through... If they can go beyond self-blame and guilt... If not they are stuck, more or less, depending on the degree to which they are or have been allowed to express themselves, stuck in compulsions for instance.
But people usually don't do this "naturally" or voluntarily, because usually they are very and extremely loyal to parents... They must be explicitly asked, and this for instance Kirkengen has written about.
[addition at 12.17: found this Readers' mail at Millers web "Ferenczi's prison" about staying in the brain, intellectualizing].
But of course you yourself must do the work, want to do it... And noone can "get" another to start doing it... On the other hand we as adults have responsibility for what we do and say... We can't use excuses that we were abused or damaged early...
And we can try to talk about things, communicate, to maybe see beyond misinterpretations and misunderstandings. Probably not always the easiest thing however, but... And of course, sometimes we have to realize when there is no idea to go on trying to achieve something that isn't possible to achieve... And maybe with this confront ourselves with a pain we have tried to push away, probably not consciously.
The stronger urges and feelings the more it is probably about something past!? And it's a risk that these strong feelings are leading us wrong, maybe creating troubles and problems... But this isn't easy or simple!!! Because strong feelings and reactions can perhaps also be necessary for changes...
You do mistakes, and have to take these too? You do painful mistakes and have to realize this? Or you have difficulties to realize them, because both the present and the past is so painful, and then you easily get stuck!? In maybe an entire reenaction of past events and relations... And maybe you have to do many such mistakes before you can confront yourself with some sort of a truth??
Yes, there lies a lot in Millers thought that the fourth commandment rules the world, and still does, even among those that aren't Christians...
I have a couple of blog posts I would like to write; quoting more from Freyd, the chapter "Creating Connections - Long-lasting Damage" and from the neurologist Jonathan Pincus book "Base Instinct - What Makes Killers Kill" (ISBN see above) the chapter "Hitler and Hatred".
On the morning news this morning they talked about child work and child workers. That many children are worn our already before they reach adult life. And that this phenomenon isn't something special for the poor or third world, but also exists in rich countries such as for instance US. They thought this is due to the fact that in these rich countries the trade union is weak, and has much less power...
And the trade unions are getting weaker in other countries too, slowly... Why is that? What mechanisms behind? How are people still raised in this world? When so many believe in this view on man and the world?
And how come it seems as it is so easy to manipulate people, not only with political ideas... See also commercials and the science behind this... To brainwash people... There have been discussions on blogs about this topic; how some political ideas have been spread very persistently in the whole western world, if not maybe the whole world, by people with a lot of money and resources. And again, in psycho history they talk about psycho classes (categorizing and labeling :-)) and they mean that the more backward psycho classes have greater needs of power (and see what Miller has written about the need for power, and what expressions it takes and how it is allowed to be expressed: women have exercised power against their own children in lack of something else to exercise it on. Others also mean that the healthier and sounder a human being is the less he/she need power*)... I wonder; the ones that are spreading these ideas what is driving them? And why is the rest of the population so easily manipulated to believe in this. But, true, many also dare to raise their voices and question the state of affairs, but...
People are afraid of speaking up, but see this; "Freedom of Speech" for instance.
To what degree would this manipulation be possible if peoples ability to see and hear etc. wasn't damaged? Freyd writes about this; how abused people view the world (and the results on their capacity of protecting themselves adequately and properly)... Kirkengen too, but from another angle; how eyes and ears can fool... How seeing and hearing can get distorted even if there is no faults on the eyes or the ears!!
How do we view/look upon human beings? As creatures, things? Just to use and then throw away? And why?
I would also want to write about victimization of people in medicine and psychiatry... How people aren't helped, are even more damaged, and can't change their lives radically... But maybe gets stuck even more in destructive relations, circumstances... Because they aren't allowed to see through or question... Are looking up on authorities... (This written with anger).
How many haven't wasted a lot of time on meaningless consultations and help of all kinds? Causing a lot more; in health, in relations, in social life etc. Unable to constructively handle their lives, because problems have in fact been added!!?? And the most harmed risk getting even more stuck... The less can quit bad circumstances faster and more easily!? The more harmed are at risk of drawing even more harm on them and are at risk of being drawn to worse helpers? If they don't have an enormous luck to encounter the "right person" from the beginning or already early in real life!
I had planned to wash the curtains and windows, but I don't feel for it right now really... Not for going out on a bike trip either... It's really hot despite the thunder yesterday when I went to bed.
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