Sexual abuse, being manly (strong, tough, not weak), beavers...

About sexual abuse again (and earlier blogpost).

“I wasn't aware that Teri Hatcher had been sexually abused. She is a brave woman in coming out, and empowering others. I, for one, appreciate her words " I wish you strength and love, and a journey that leads to your own realization that you are lovable, worthy and deserve good things.

So many of us grow into adulthood, admired and loved by our friends and colleagues, and our deepest darkest secret within is that core feeling about ourselves that we are utterly unlovable, unworthy or deserving of any good things. But underlying that are the darker secrets of repressed memories and unfelt and unintegrated feelings of being 'made' to feel unlovable, bad, guilty, ashamed, by those who originally 'sinned' against us.

I was aged about 46 when I literally began to wake up to discover, that having suffered for over 25 years with depression, I too had been sexually abused as a very small child, and the energy of this, although trapped and blocked, was driving me in all areas of my life. And, with the help of an enlightened witness I was finally ready to open Pandora's box. I simply began to learn to rage, and the lifetime of depression 'went out the window'. I still rage from time to time. (smile) I am now 59 , and am that 'enlightened witness' for others as they too emerge .

I agree with Teri, If it hasn't happened to you, count your blessings and do something in your community to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone you know.”

“I also think it's very brave of Teri to admit this. The more people that speak up, the bigger the chances are that kids being abused speak out about their abuse and we as individuals and as a community can do something about it. So when famous people come forward, they'll reach many more than us ordinary people.”

More about the phenomenon being manly, i.e. not weak (my ironical reflection over this phenomenon and similar phenomena, though I like walking both with and without poles, cycling etc.). I am not sure I understood this entirely, reacting very spontaneously and "immediately" (and read it very swiftly). From “Breaking Down the Walls of Silence”.

Article in Guardian. And about the boot camp phenomenon even here in Sweden.

And I also read something on this blog about similar things I felt quite ironically; a politician (minister, vice prime-minister!!, in our current government, woman) thinking we should work like beavers (be strong in other manners!?)… Obviously she doesn’t think we do (we are not working like the beavers we should, but I think too many of us do already)!!

She says that:

“Passivity can be found on many levels in society /…/ Of course there are the (extremely) devoted, but unfortunately laziness is often shown in the notion/idea that someone else shall do everything [talk for yourself I say!!!].”

And about children towards their parents:

“Can (my)self!! Is there something that can make parents more overcome/exhausted and at the same time very proud when children are saying things like that? /…/ In my dream for Sweden we are a whole country filled with people which 'can (our)selves'. Which dare to experiment, try ideas and make dreams come true, both big and small (dreams).”

Yes, we are very lazy! So I just say Hallelujah! And from my point of view and perspective I can't say I find this woman especially creative or sensitive! On the contrary!! There is nothing "artistic" in her!! May I say this?? So I just wonder ironically what she knows about creativity!!!??? (I have a cousin, female, exactly the same age as I, which is member - and politician - of Olofssons party...).

What do workaholics do? What do they achieve? Actually? All these rushing around? Do they do as much as they seem to? (some in the literature about exhaustion and stress says it is the opposite...).

Came to think about what Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter wrote in their book "The Truth About Burnout - how organizations cause personal stress and what to do about it (1997?)". See another book by these two (more recent).

Do beavers have time to see sexual abuse (or do they have sensitivity at all in the first place to see or sense or hear it, or to see or sense any abuse at all, wherever it occurs)??? (see the first links in this blogpost). Do they have time to have sex themselves either??? Do they feel any lust to it either if they are too exhausted?? I think the literature says this lust decreases too if I have understood it right!? I can't guarantee I have understood it!! :-)

And this woman was supposed to chat with people in one of our biggest newspaper's chat on the web, but she realized in the last moment (before this chat) that she was double booked (!!!???), so her press-secretary (??) took her place (I don't watch the news nowadays, since a long time, because I feel so horrible hearing about our horrible government and what they do, and how media chose to report about things, even how the Swedish Television chose to report about things sitting in the knees of the government s my feeling, so this is what I have snapped very fast), but answered in the name of Maud Olofsson and not as her press-secretary!! People writing thought they were chatting with Maud Olofsson... (and poor her children I think... I wouldn't want a woman like this as mother!! This Maud Olofsson is much like Margaret Thatcher!! An iron lady!).

PS. Cristina Maslach's homesite.

PPS. Thought of this further at work today, and the female politician Maud Olofsson I quoted above: how does she see us; the grown up population in Sweden? As small children, and she like a sort of mom?? And I don't think (or believe) that the policy she represents, or she either as person, can fill especially many with creativity... On the contrary... Sad (and pretty angry) to say...

Writing spontaneously and thus swiftly and often very upset over all stupidness in this world... Hmmm...

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Tillägg 11 oktober: i bloggen Alliansfritt Sverige står det

"Olofsson (egentligen Wärn) påstod att:

'Som politiker måste man vara modig och ta debatt.'"

Artikel: hjälp till självdestruktion...

Kolla denna norska artikel... Kommer att tänka på Kirkengen här, om reviktimisering av människor. Rötterna till inhumanitet är vilka? Jag har mina idéer...

Se tillägg idag i föregående blogginlägg... Såg nu en etikett jag använt "being manly", om män och känslor...

PS. kommer att tänka på det som ansetts (och fortfarande anses) vara manligt, om förakt för svaghet (dvs. känslor), om alexitymi och avsaknad av känslospråk och dettas koppling till hjärtkärlsjukdom, om diagnoser och att diagnosticera och vådorna av det (där man inte vill höra en/den underliggande historien och på det sättet reviktimiserar klienten; i en massa olika sammanhang; i rehabilitering, sjukvård, rättsväsendet osv.: se Kirkengens inledning av hennes bok "How Abused Children Becomes Unhealthy Adults"-länken), samt den där käpphästen att inte säga hur andra är (vilket kan handla mer om en själv och vara ett slags diagnosticerande!!)... Eller i vart fall vara uppmärksam på detta fenomen...

Jag tänker också på vilka som är benägna att uppsöka terapeut och vilka som inte är det... Jenson och Bosch skriver om detta (att falskmaktorienterade tenderar att vara mindre benägna och ofta inte alls benägna)...

Kirkengens inledning:

"I address this book about how personal integrity violations lead to illness to my colleagues who practice, do research, teach and write within the field of general and specialized medicine. I also address researchers and clinicians within health-related professions, such as nurses, psychologists, physiotherapists, midwives, pediatric nurses, and consultants in ergonomics. Furthermore, I address all professionals working with children, such as teachers, child care consultants, speech therapists, social workers, and special education teachers. I wish, moreover, to reach those in the legal professions. This includes the police because lawyers, judges and police personnel come in contact with people, old and young, who are being hurt or have been hurt in the past by other people's lack of respect for their personal integrity.

I also address politicians and lawmakers since they are in a position to translate knowledge regarding boundary violation into viable initiatives and laws. The initiatives must have as their goal the prevention of humiliation, violation, injury or abuse, particularly of people who are young and dependent. They must also aim to insure that all people, regardless of where they are or where they go, can trust that they will be valued and treated with respect. Laws must have as their aim that all people, especially those who are small and dependent, who have already been humiliated, violated, injured or abused receive the help they need, and in abundance. They must also aim to insure that all people who have been treated with disrespect or contempt can regain their sense of self-worth and self-respect.

First and foremost, however, I address this work to students within medicine and other health professions. My declared aim here is to point out in what ways a dualistic view of the human being and his body is untenable, how it leads both to a dualistic health system, one somatic and the other psychiatric, and to a dualistic conceptual world, divided into one classification system for somatic illnesses and another for mental illnesses. Medicine and related fields of study rest on this divided and dividing knowledge and students are trained to think those terms. I beg students not to allow this way of thinking to wipe out what they know about themselves, and, consequently, about other people as well: that they are unique individuals with mindful bodies.

In the hope that this book may also reach people outside the medical professions, I have chosen to use everyday language. Issues of integrity and violation are, in fact, themes all people share. We are all vulnerable, not just a few of us. In addition to our being mortal, what human beings have in common is the fact that we can all be humiliated."

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Helle Klein om att ”Livet är en deadline”, om höghastighetssamhället och

”...den narcissistiska kulturens fara för journalistiken med mera.”

A Swedish journalist and leader-writer about the high-speed-society and

“…the dangers/risks for journalism in the narcissistic culture…”

Yes, stressed people are at risk of being less sensitive to others – and/or themselves… We make ourselves, and others, objects instead of subjects?? But what is underlying? What are we actually trying to achieve? Why are we living on this earth? What is the meaning with this whole?

See Bosch "et al" about burn-out...

Om Sicko och partiledardullen...

Helle Klein med den jättebra ledaren ”Slaget om sjukvården” om Michael Moores film "Sicko". Josefin Brink om partiledardebatten mellan Sahlin och Reinfeldt igårkväll. Om att ha en "folklig" framtoning... Tänkte på det när jag såg Filippa Reinfeldt hos Babben i lördags... Brink skriver bland annat:

"Min första tanke efter gårdagens duell mellan Mona Sahlin och Fredrik Reinfeldt var att medieträning måste förbjudas. Tonfall, uttryck, små exempel ur 'vanligt folks' vardag, slipsen, klänningen..."

En kommentator hos "Alliansfritt Sverige" apropå vårdval:

”Som sköterska så kan jag bara säga att gårdagens debatt var ett nytt stolpskott i Sveriges historia. Privata vårdföretag till penningstinna försäkringstagare? En minister som sa nej samtidigt som denna minister menade ja?.

Öppna ytterdörren och ge er ut och prata med folk och ta reda på hur de mår i stan och stugorna på landet.Där gäller inga fina tabeller utan verkligheten.”

Arne Kjörnsberg om ”Regering med lögner i bagaget”. Han skriver bland annat:

”…Olof Palme [se PalmeCenter.se och Olofpalme.org – Olof Palme’s archive]. Han sade ofta ungefär så här. (Citerat ur minnet) ’Jag är övertygad om att även den som har det väldigt bra ekonomiskt av egenintresse, om inte annat, inser vikten av solidaritet. För han eller hon inser att ökade klyftor leder till sociala motsättningar som blir ett problem för hela samhället även för de ekonomiskt besuttna.’ Så långt Olof Palme.

Vi kan också lyssna till Tage Erlander och minnas hans ord som han så ofta upprepade.

’Adelsmärket på en god politiker är att han eller hon inte sticker upp fingret i luften och känner hur det blåser. Han eller hon sätter sig i stället med sina kamrater och resonerar om vad som är riktigt, rättvist och rättfärdigt. Sedan går man ut tillsammans och bildar opinion för det man kommit fram till.’”

En Charlotte hos ”Ett hjärta RÖTT”:

”De där beskyllningarna att man tänker för mycket med hjärtat, tar saker personligt osv, de får jag också ibland från högerliberala personer som tror sig vara någon slags fritt svävande medvetanden med örnblick. Men nå, även om de själva ofta tycks mer känslostyrda än vad de är medvetna om så sätter det ju litegrann fingret på vad som är det största problemet med högerpolitik: hjärtlösheten [min kursivering].”

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Tillägg 9 oktober: Hittade denna kommentar (som jag hade sparad sedan 6 oktober) på samma tema som Charlottes svar ovan

"Är inte politik känslor? Är politik enbart lagstiftning? Shit alltså**Då har jag missat hela poängen. Jag har analyserat tal på retorikkurser och det var känslor överallt. Logos och patos [pathos]. Det var inte logosdelen som uppviglade massorna utan patosdelen. Logos talar till den ena hjärnhalvan och patos till den andra. Om du bara talar till den ena anses du vara torr o tråkig och ingen lyssnar på dig. Är väl därför många extremliberaler är så otroligt torra och intetsägande att prata med. Inga man direkt festar med en fredagkväll. De tror att livets uppkomst blev till p.g.a logiska beslut.

Kaosteorin?? Relativitetsteorin? Jag tycker synd om dem som saknar förmåga till känslor. Självklart är politik både logos/patos. Att förneka patos är att förneka halva människan. är väl det extremliberaler gör…Att den stackars mannen i Sickofilmen tvingades välja vilket finger han hade råd att sy fast anses som snyfthistorier o propaganda. Inget medlidande va?? NÄÄ* Jäkla snygga läkare de hade på Kuba förresten. jag vet, landet e diktatur men vilka människor” PATOS-_människor."

Kolla här om Bamse och det sociala patoset!! I NE:s ordbok står det om "patos":

"stark, lidelsefull känsla som vanligtvis tar sig högstämda uttryck"

Ordet finns historiskt belagt redan 1785 och kommer från det grekiska "pathos". Jfr med antipati, homeopati, patetisk, patologi, sympati, telepati - och förstås empati. Se också ethos. I artikeln om empati hittade jag följande:

"Empathy and autism spectrum disorders

A common source of confusion in analyzing the interactions between empathy and autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is that the apparent lack of empathy may mask at least two other underlying causes:

· Excessive sensitivity or "overwhelm," may be a cause of early learned suppression.

· Failure to demonstrate empathy can arise from inability (or not knowing how) to express empathy to others, as opposed to difficulty feeling it. internally.

The former of these is cited by Phoebe Caldwell, an author on ASD, who writes:

What is clear is that, while people on the spectrum may not respond easily to external gestures/sounds, they do respond most readily if the initiative they witness is already part of their repertoire. This points to the selective use of incoming information rather than absence of recognition. It would appear that people with autism are actually rather good at recognition and imitation if the action they perceive is one that has meaning and significance for their brains.

As regards the failure of empathetic response, it would appear that at least some people with autism are oversensitive to the feelings of others rather than immune to them, but cannot handle the painful feed-back that this initiates in the body, and have therefore learnt to suppress this facility. /.../

With these possible exceptions noted, it would be grossly misleading to infer that individuals with ASD's are generally exceptional empathizers when, quite to the contrary, research indicates the reverse. Research suggests that many ASD individuals have a lack of theory of mind (ToM) and alexithymia (85% of those with ASD's have alexithymia), both of which conditions involve severe deficits in the individual's ability to be empathetically attuned to others. Alexithymia involves not just the inability to express emotions, but specifically the inability to identify emotional states in self or others^"

Och kommer att tänka på detta!! Apropå autism...

Kolla detta om "Sicko". Och Ulf Bjereld om ”Rent spel. Ewa Björlingaffären och rugby.”