About positive thinking, meditation (Tibetan Buddhist), the AA-movement…..

Had to log in to the net again before I go to bed to tip about this article from Miller’s web, about phenomena cementing childhood blindness.

---

Addition September 20: And as therapists handle emotions and feelings, they strengthen the fear for them instead of the opposite!!?? Even if they (at first) encourage them:

"There shall be no censoring! want no censoring! What and how did you feel?"

But when the client start to tell...

And sensitive clients probably also senses and feels pretty soon what's "legitimate" or "opportune" to say, and how to say it to each particular therapist. Have developed such a radar?? And can get even more scared, than the opposite, for her/his feelings?? Because they sense (often unconsciously) the therapists fears for genuine emotions? And develop such a fear for her/his emotions that... Yes, what?

Yes, childhood blindness becomes even more cemented than ever before? It's like this too often, than the opposite? Clients are learned to blame themselves, thus a defence is actually strengthened!?? The Primary Defence, which the child resorted to at first, i.e., to blame her/himself for what she/he experienced endured! ut this feeling is so painful, so then the child turned to other defences: the false hope for instance;

"If I just... then..."

The false belief that she/he could change the conditions, circumstances and even te people she/he was dependent on!?

Or to False power denial of needs: a false feeling of power that he/she didn't need this and that, and if she/he didn't need the things it didn't get (but what a child actually needs) the child got a false feeling she/he handled the situation, wasn't hurt.

Or false power anger, by reacting with anger he/she got a feeling of strength and control...

And we go on resorting to these defences (there are probably other defences, or variations of them?) as adults, when we encounter difficult situations (of different severity). These mechanisms can be triggered by events in the persent as adults, and this aways causes problems, with handling things constructively... And this is by no means strange! And nothing we should blame ourselves for, or being blamed for, least from helpers!! Guilt feelings for our badness our faults etc. are too many times strengthened instead of the opposite?? And because of early experiences we doesn't immediately see this through either. The more harmed the more difficult this is!

Hasn't there been a backlash in therapy too? To a more authoritarian way of behaving and resonating??

I am very ironical, and critical...

Buddhism and karma…

There were two more letters at Miller’s web today; “Karma and abuse” and “Karma?” When I read the first I came to think once again about the phenomenon reconciliation! Why is this so important to therapists for instance? Is it because you shall not become so angry or even furious??? But the more you get access with these feelings (of rage, fury etc.) the more and positive feelings you also can feel? Or the stronger you can feel them?? And then I talk about genuinely positive feelings…

And when I read these sentences (about a/the Buddhism-stand) I thought further:

“… my spirit chose this hardship as a way of compensating for past(lives) errors. My mind has to find a logical reason for the pain other than just blaming the abuser /…/ you are told that you should be thankful for any insult or abuse because abusers are teachers and we deserve whatever we get--to put it bluntly /…/ finding spiritual validation for the abuse”.

And in the second letter:

“I don't know if I chose this life to "pay" for errors in past lives, but I really prefer to think of it as building "POSITIVE" karma for the next go-round. If I hadn't had this experience, I would not know how to help others not continue the abuse, and how to advise them to get help for the abuse they have suffered. Being abused is always an awful thing, but you can take the energy you expend on regret, shame, hate and anger and turn it into a positive force for the good of children everywhere. It's amazing how much this relieves your negative feelings.”

It suddenly struck me: you use these strategies to avoid the pain and thus you also avoid the truth!!! Effectively!?

Miller answers the question

“… would you say that it is another form of denial?"

with:

“Yes, of course I would say that. It is not only denial, it is brain washing in the most dangerous way.”

And the second letter in this way:

“Preaching that abusers are teachers and that you can make sense of the endured abuse by turning negative energies into positive ones is a very problematic philosophy. It is used for brain washing everywhere. In this way, ‘teachers’ pass on to others the lies that they were told and that caused their rage so they can feel well and ‘positive’.”