Visar inlägg med etikett P. Melody. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett P. Melody. Visa alla inlägg

torsdag 29 november 2007

Billigare att bygga sandlådor än fängelser...

[uppdaterad 30 november]. Kolla denna insändare där det bland annat står:
"'Hårdare tag' är redan för sent, det är ett totalt misslyckande för dem som är satta att styra. Det behövs en långvarig omprogrammering av dem som redan är i skiten, samt en öppnare attityd mot dem som kan tänkas dras till denna hantering. /.../ Det är billigare att bygga sandlådor till småkillarna än att bygga fängelser till männen."
Och kolla denna sida om Agnes egen sida om spel !

Which translated is something in the style "Agnes' own site about computer-games!" Watch it!!

Tillägg 30 november: Maria Abrahamsson i Gomorronsoffans nyhetspanel * nu på morgonen litet fritt: folk borde vara mer tacksamma mot alliansen. Nu har de mer pengar i fickorna, arbetslösheten sjunker och färre är sjukskrivna.

För att det bakifrån: att sjukskrivningarna minskar beror det på att folk är friskare? Som ett trollslag blivit friskare?

Kanske folk också ser på nära håll vad politiken innebär och många värdesätter andra saker än att ha pengar på fickan, även fast de har jobb, inte är sjuka, är oerhört friska? Och vi har haft det bra ekonomiskt också under det s.k. högskattesamhället... Ju...

Jag undrar också om detta med frihet är släkt med överdrivet beroende- eller oberoendebehov? Se Pia Melody...

Göran Greider i ledaren ”Samhället måste desarmeras” idag skriver något om kontrollsamhället… Men hur går detta ihop med liberalernas frihet? Är (ny)liberalerna mindre kontrollivrande än andra? Och varför inte?

I Greiders ledare står det bland annat (mina kursiveringar):

”Risken nu är att skolvärlden reser murar omkring sig och bevakningskameror inom sig. Kontrollsamhället tar ett steg till framåt. På samma sätt går tongångarna efter attentatet mot åklagaren i Trollhättan. Kombinationen av mediehets, otryggare samhälle och en statusjakt som får så många att känna sig misslyckade blir till slut explosiv. Det problemet kan i längden inte lösas med hårdare övervakning.

Själva samhället måste desarmeras.

Se dokumentären ”Syndabockarna” om rötter till våld… En dokumentär i vilken skolministern vägrade låta sig intervjuas...

* Tydligen har skolministern (som är liberal) tillsamman med Lärarförbudets ordförande diskuterat säkerheten i skolorna apropå ett knivdåd i Stockholmsskola igår... Ett TV-inslag
vilket jag dock inte sett.

Det där med att ta itu med grundproblem, erkänna dem?

onsdag 28 november 2007

Empathy and emotional intelligence...

winter picture from the Ice-hotel in Jukkasjärvi.

Can empathy be taught? Are we born more or less emotionally intelligent or more or less empathic (some are more empathic by nature than others)? Can emotional intelligence be taught? Can one tell children or anyone to be more empathic or to love anyone?

Or from where does empathy (and emotional intelligence) come?

Does it come from our capacity as grown ups to meet the child, even the very small child, even the newborn and even the foetus, with empathy, care, respect?

And if we didn’t get this as small how do we handle this later in life? How do we learn empathy and thus emotional intelligence?

Miller thinks we need to have compassion and empathy for the child we once were to be able to be empathic and compassionate with other people…

I think she is right. If empathy and compassion – and emotional intelligence is learned from outside so to say, it can never be really genuine…

Can children be told to love each others or anyone else? Doesn’t a child love when there are reasons to love (if it hasn’t been disturbed earlier)? Can’t a child be trusted to love when the time and place and circumstances are the right, when there are reasons to love? Is it a lack of trust in the child it is about? Grounded in what? Confidence in oneself as grown up, or a lack of confidence, depending on what?

How do we as grown ups handle or deal with this? Can we decide to feel in other ways? Is insight about these things enough?

Or do we have to deal with this on a deeper level? Even do a hard work? Not only for others (or our children), but also for ourselves and our lives and the quality of or lives?

And that about being learned emotional intelligence and empathy from outside so to say, training it from outside, what message does this forward? As the message a lot of therapy-methods forward!? Telling the person exposed for the training or therapy: there’s something wrong with you.

“You have to learn!”

Isn’t defences strengthened rather than the opposite? For instance in this case the defence to blame oneself, what Ingeborg Bosch calls the Primary Defence.

And it is as Bosch writes about Golemans emotionally intelligent person:

“The general profile of Golemans ‘emotionally intelligent’ person fits the PRI idea of someone who is quite defensive, albeit in a socially desirable way. This might therefore lead to social success, while simultaneously sacrificing contact with the True Self and inner autonomy [and I would say that this can’t lead to real genuineness or authenticity, but the false self is maybe even more strengthened instead].”

Another message that is forwarded in these sorts of training and therapies: an inborn evilness that has to be controlled and checked!? Exactly as many of us was treated earliest in life more or less (very few, if any of us, haven’t got something of this, though some have had the luck to get very little of this and those probably sees things clearer, as those do who have been able to process things)!? The message

“You are bad! [i.e. not worth loving]”
Noone (or very few) want to explore what and if there is something behind that badness or evilness!?

Instead we resort to training our compassion, empathy and emotional intelligence from outside. But of course, if there are no other options, and a person is desperate… He/she picks every straw he/she can, sad to say, and the more harmed re at risk getting stuck with saviors?

Do man therapists and the like need someone under them? Do they need to “demonstrate” (maybe entirely unconsciously) their superiority and be the one on top, maybe for the first time in their lives? Depending on their story? Which they haven’t go help to process or acknowledge?

And Pia Melody actually means that telling a child how and what to feel, how to react, how to this and that is a violation. Yes, so she says!? And I would say it is a demonstration of lack of trust and confidence in the child and its good will!? Isn’t it? And from where does this distrust in the child comes? An expression of what? And as Miller writes: you can question a child, but you just don’t question other things or persons, which is entirely out of question! You can put blame on a child, but not on other authority figures… You can direct anger at individuals below yourself in power…

What many therapists and the like is empathy deficits? But from where does empathy deficits come? I don't think this is something we are born with though...

During a tutors-education just a few years ago I joined at the Royal College of Music in Stockholm we spoke a lot about empathy...

Yes, it's one thing to talk about it and another to be genuinely empathic!? And i it possible to learn from outside or can we even decide to start being empathic? But with this not said we shouldn't stop caring about questions about empathy and compassion...

We should need to do a probably hard work... And it would be possible to prevent everything lack of empathy and compassion causes in this world... A psychologist said to me:

"Each generation has to conquer its own".

No, I don't think it has to be so!!! The hard work so many of us have to do (or should have to do, but don't do) wouldn't be necessary if we started to speak more openly about these things and make steps to prevent these things: child abuse of all kinds (not only physical or sexual abuse, but also emotional, how "mild" it even is or "harmless" in our adult eyes. And if these things were so harmless and mil, wouldn't it be easier then to admit to those "small" crimes? And if it isn't - why isn't it?). Even sorts we as grown ups view as fairy harmless. I think things like these can cause more pain in a child than we can imagine, and that it is so painful isn't because some children are so extremely sensitive, but because children in general actually are so sensitive.

But I don't advocate that we as adults are allowed to behave badly, egoistically or anything like this, because we were harmed once and now are "entitled" in some strange way to act all those earlier suppressed/repressed things out. Or allowed to take revenge...

How harmed we even are we still have responsibility for our actions, what we say and do...

And I am very critical to a lot of therapy... And help of all kinds... I don't believe one can decide to just go out and change things... Yes, we CAN but then not without a lot of energy in curbing self-destructive traits... We should need to process these things instead, and if we succeeded in that things would change of itself much more?? Is this only illusionary from my part? I let this be an open question...

And if the harm is so severe, why not preventing it the best we can? And understand even more about what is actually harming and destroying and causing problems? And speaking openly about it, man to man... Why aren't we? Where lies the roots to this?

Some morning thoughts just like that...

PS. But some concepts are more healthy than others?

PPS. And I should want to add some thoughts about individuals with low IQ, such as children with Downs Syndrome and their spontaneity... Intelligence can be a problem...
And the spontaneity in dogs for instance... Showing feelings...

Things we have curbed? Feeling things from top to toe... And showing it.

A child acting out, being silent or behaving strangely(even being psychotic) hat is that child trying to say? I the right method to start training EQ-training?

If a child hasn't got the right or proper "models" for what genuine care, compassion, love, empathy etc. are can this be taught from outside? Yes, a child can still be saved?? Even very harmed have been (if they haven't been too damaged or injured), with stamina (uthållighet) from empathic pedagogues (and/or other empathic grown ups) Miller has written. And group-therapy has helped severe criminals...

Now I HAVE to do some work here!

Addition in the evening: See eqi.org on Alice Miller. And also earlier blogpost on therapy and pedagogy.

torsdag 25 oktober 2007

"Super-Nanny" gör föräldrar våldsamma...

foto på Staffan Jansson.
Apropå tidigare inlägg (se slutet av detta inlägg, i tillägget) kollade jag i artikeln i Aftonbladet om att "milt" våld mot barn ökar om vilka som stod bakom denna forskning och googlade på Staffan Jansson och fann ytterligare artikel i Expressen, där det bland annat står:
”…en ny studie svensk studie som har genomförts av Staffan Jansson, professor i folkhälsovetenskap vid Karlstad universitet [på uppdrag av Karlstad universitet och Stiftelsen Allmänna barnhuset], Birgitta Svensson, doktorand i folkhälsovetenskap och Bodil Långberg, chef för Allmänna barnhuset i Stockholm. Enkäter har gått ut till 2 000 föräldrar och 2 500 elever i hela Sverige – och resultaten ger skäl till oro.”
Om Staffan Jansson på Karlstad universitets hemsida.

Kolla om ”Örebro universitet centrum för kunskap om barns rättigheter”. Och detta tidigare blogginlägg om Dr Phil samt även detta blogginlägg.

I Expressenartikeln står det också i slutet:

"Bevittnat våld

Andra otrevliga resultat av studien:
Åtta procent av alla skolbarn anger att de har bevittnat våld mellan sina föräldrar, åtminstone någon gång. En till två procent har sett det ske upprepade gånger [att bli vittne till kränkning är en kränkning även för vittnet säger bland annat läkaren Pia Melody!!].
- I den gruppen där det förekommer våld mellan de vuxna i familjen är risken för att barnen ska utsättas för aga sex gånger större. Det är den allvarligaste av alla riskfaktorer för att få stryk, förklarar Staffan Jansson.
För barn i familjer med alkoholmissbruk är risken i stället dubblerad.
Men, värst:
- Kroniskt sjuka och funktionshindrade löper nästan dubbelt ökad risk att de ska bli slagna eller mobbade jämfört med barn utan sjukdom. Det här gäller framför allt barn med psykiska problem, barn med ADHD. De är rejält utsatta [hur ska de då kunna "anpassa sig", "passa in" i samhället? Och varför hade de problem från början undrar jag också].
- Det är hemskt obehagligt. Det gäller både utsatthet för våld i familjen och mobbning, säger Staffan Jansson.
Förra gången studien gjordes var 2000."

Och det står också att det inte är utlandsfödda föräldrar som har blivit mer våldsbenägna, utan svenskfödda!!

Har fått tillåtelse att publicera nedanstående brev apropå följande artikel i norsk tidning om aga i uppfostringssyfte:

"Mener foreldre har rett til å gi barn ris
Både Carl I. Hagen og Aslam Ahsan er takknemlige for at deres fedre ga dem hard fysisk straff. De mener dagens foreldre må kunne gi ulydige unger ris. (Publisert 2007-10-25 07:01:00)".

Här brevet:

"Justisminister Knut Storberget

Nå haster det med å få et lovforbud mot all bruk av vold mot barn. Ut fra hva VG melder i dag, er det åpenbart at mange fortsatt forsvarer vold som oppdragelse.

Jeg ble stadig slått gjennom min barndom, fra så tidlig jeg kan huske (3 år eller tidligere). Det var et sant helvete og har ødelagt mer av livet mitt, også som voksen, enn jeg orker å fortelle om. Både som barn og voksen har jeg gått rundt og vært fryktelig redd mennesker, slik at likeverdighet og jevnbyrdighet i relasjoner til andre ofte har vært vanskelig eller umulig å etablere.

Disse voksne som nå uttaler til VG at de ikke har tatt skade av selv å bli slått, er tydeligvis ikke klar over at mange blir svært syke av vold. Selv hadde jeg stadige mareritt allerede i førskolealderen og mitt første selvmordsforsøk da jeg var ti. Må barn tåle slikt?

Beskyttelse av barn er viktigere enn noe annet, justisminisister Knut Storberget. Det må gjøres noe med lovverket nå!"

Se också detta läsarinlägg.

söndag 12 augusti 2007

Reconciliation…

Written yesterday evening...

Things have been (and still are) solved with reacting against scapegoats (at first in the family)? Scapegoats are created because they are needed. But this doesn’t resolve anything for anyone. Things are rather held in place, rigidly even, and got even more strengthened with the use of scapegoats? Noone will ever be freed as long as this continues and goes on, less the ones reacting at the scapegoats.

If things were directed at the true sources by all, in all now living generations (an illusion probably, but let’s use it as a play with thoughts), how would that be? All would see differently, communicate differently and more genuinely?

And you will inevitably pass things further if you haven’t processed things or been aware of what was done (and how) and aware of how harmful it was and that it was (many times) extremely unfair, and not only that, but damaging (and how it was damaging). Even if the consequences weren’t visible then or right away or maybe didn’t come at once (but “only” were wounds in the soul).

So it wasn’t only the parent that got badly treated in her/his childhood in different ways and this later adult managed to avoid many of these things he/she maybe believes? Or that their children become harmed less badly. Maybe didn’t become harmed hardly at all? Thus minimizing and belittling what ones own children suffered? And you will do this until you realize to a certain degree how it actually was for the child you once was yourself.

Awareness is decisive, and it should have existed then, to avoid passing things further at all, or passing it further very, very little.

Awareness later, maybe even very late in life, would be to at last take responsibility for oneself, for ones own parenthood (if one has children) and for yourself!! Not least!? I.e., become the adult you are and SHOULD BE!! Not easy probably! No sadly to say there ae no quick fixes here??

And can a sibling feel reconciliation on behalf of other/all other siblings? On behalf of all?

Isn’t it awful that so many got harmed? Can another forgive on behalf of others? And can one continue to have contact without forgiving?

I reacted very strongly at several things the psychologist said in the interview I recently referred to. One was the topic reconciliation, which she brought about and said she felt for both her parents: the very abusive father and the submissive and insecure mother, that couldn’t protect her children at all??!! At her father’s deathbed she felt as another sort of communication would have been possible (and this was before she started to remember what she had been exposed to. She thought this made her start her work. A few days after she gad said goodbye to her father she got the message she had breast cancer).

This woman didn’t get any siblings until she was six if I understood it right… Her mother was only 20 when she got born and the young mother used her daughter as confident (emotional incest, which Pia Melody thinks is very common in our western society, and I think it is very common in the whole world, and it is probably more harmful than we thinks. This woman said she probably had to be a sort of mother for her own mother).

Addition: This woman said that the reactions on her book and what she revealed there were very positive from readers in general, but her colleagues (other psychologists and therapists) reacted differently!! Approximately 50 % of them reacted negatively, even a bit condemning, they didn't think a therapist should go out with her own history like this!!! She didn't agree with this, and didn't quite understand it. Because a therapist reveal so much already by her/his way of dressing, the things she/he has o her/his office etc.

And the interviewer asked something (I don't remember what) to which she answered that for the child then this was awful what she had to endure (with an abusive, violent father, which also sexually abused and a submissive mother and mean maternal grandmother, mormor in Swedish), but as a grown up woman she saw it a bit different; she could understand him/her father (something in the style that she understood he himself probably had been exposed to things - as I remember it)!!!

In my feeling this was like a concession, remission (eftergift in Swedish) to her colleagues and "the right way" of reacting!!! And she also used the word/expression "reconciliation"...

She claimed she had abandoned the role as nice, sweet girl, adapting to all and everyone, but I think these two things above proves other things!! And on top, from what I know more, and from what I sense and feel, I think this woman can be fairly mean too!

I am not sure I would have searched her as therapist! Not where I am today at least... But she left her work before she retired and did other things instead... Has written several books (all except the one mentioned above in Swedish), given (and still gives) retreats and has a company with her husband who is also psychologist...

torsdag 31 maj 2007

Övergrepp i terapi del 2/abuse in therapy part 2...

Now I have done a translation and summary (long though, so should one call it a summary?? :-)) in Swedish. I will come back to an English summary too! As long?? :-)

I think this topic is very important!! But abuse/violation in therapy can be of other kinds too, even those that don't lead to real intercourse... I guess there can exist emotional abuse too, and things that can be compared maybe to emotional incest?? There can really exist disrespect in many ways (not only concerning sex, but concerning feelings, emotions, thoughts the client have and express) and disrespect of different degrees too? More or less subtle?

Talking highly and openly about those issues are important; makes it easier for people who have been abused in therapy to raise their voices, talking highly lift shame away? And make people aware of what demands they are entitled to raise on their helpers!!?? Hopefully.

And those who has been abused are hopefully helped to process what they have gone through by a more and more open talk too!?

And maybe such an openness would also be good for the therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists etc. in the end? Would with no question be good!?

I think of what Pia Melody has said and written about violations and about codependency (what I know about her ideas I have only read in Jean Jensons book, the first edition, and in Swedish I want to mention too)... Applicable on this too? Probably developed further by others? A concept that can help one be aware of these things...

Now I am a bit tired, so I leave this issue for now... :-)
-//-

Nu vill jag försöka göra en sammanfattning av artikeln på norska om övergrepp i terapi… Litet trött gör jag denna, med allt vad det kan innebära. :-)

I Norge förlorade sju terapeuter 2002 sin licens på grund av sex med en patient. Och artikeln berättades om en professor i psykiatri, medlem i Norsk psykiatrisk förening samt också författare av fackböcker i ämnet, som miste sin licens p.g.a. sex med en kvinnlig patient i samma veva som artikeln skrevs (jan. 2004)

Artikeln berättar om en norsk kvinnlig psykolog, Mette, som när artikeln skrevs 2004 höll på att skriva en fackbok om gränsöverskridanden i terapi. Hon har personlig erfarenhet att som klient bli utsatt för övergrepp. Och hennes långa mara pågick i 15 år. 1984 började hon i terapi hos en psykolog för att hon ville reda ut sina egna tankar innan hon började arbeta med andras. Då höll hon själv på att utbilda sig till psykolog. Det vill säga hon var själv inte helt okunnig i ämnet!?

De första två åren var terapin normal. Hon pratade och han lyssnade. På så sätt vann han hennes tillit.

I sitt mest sårbara möter klienten sin terapeut, en terapeut som du ska kunna lita på, någon som lyssnar och ska vara uppriktigt intresserad av det du har att säga. En som finns där för att hjälpa. Men det är inte alltid en utsträckt hand är menad att hjälpa, varje år så drabbas någon av övergrepp från sin behandlare.

Vi anförtror mer till terapeuten än till våra allra närmaste, just för att det är en person som ska hjälpa. På så sätt skapas en väldigt stark relation. Det är naturligt att klienten får starka känslor för sin terapeut. Tillit och känslor som lätt kan missbrukas.

Som behandlare måste du vara professionell och inte missbruka makt genom att utnyttja klientens beroende och tillit!

Det är inte ovanligt att behandlare som begår övergrepp förklarar det med förälskelse, att det uppstod en kärleksrelation mellan terapeut och klient, med ömsesidiga känslor. Men det är kristallklart att ett hjälparepatientförhållande inte är ömsesidig på samma sätt som andra sorters relationer och som hjälpsökande måste klienten kunna lita på att terapeuten inte utnyttjar tillit till tillfredsställelse av egna behov.

Övergreppssaker har likhetstecken med religiösa sekter och gisslandramer. I en rättssak i denna veva blev en psykolog dömd att betala 7, 5 miljoner kronor i ersättning till tre manliga patienter som blev missbrukade i terapi. Psykologen planterade in falska minnen att mannen varit utsatt för sexuella övergrepp som barn. Sex med terapeuten var en del av behandlingen.

Det enda alternativet som gavs var att de skulle bli kroniskt sjuka och tvingas gå på piller resten av livet [om de inte gjorde som terapeuten sa?]. Denna upplevelse kan liknas vid ett tortyroffers. Psykologen rättfärdigade handlingarna mot klienterna med

”Jag vet att detta gör ont, jag vet att det går över gränsen, jag vet att jag bryter lagen. Men där andra inte orkar ta tag i sådana här problem är jag villig att ställa upp för dig.”

Piska-morot används.

En annan psykolog säger att det viktigaste för en hjälpare är att skilja mellan patientens och egna behov. Flyttas egna behov in i yrket är du i fara för att skada andra.

Sidokommentar: Alice Miller skriver en hel del om vikten av att terapeuten jobbar med sig själv och rentav att han/hon borde upphäva sina egna förträngningar för att inte riskera utöva omedveten manipulation!!! Se den reviderade utgåvan av ”Det självutplånande barnet…” Samt också berättelsen om Helga i Millers bok ”Vägar i livet…”. Samt det hon skriver om guruer i samma bok.

Mettes timmar hos psykologen började förändras efter två år. Han tog mer på henne och började berätta personliga saker om sig själv. Ändringen skedde så sakta att hon inte såg något galet i den. Hon sögs in i en tro att detta var helt naturligt. Vid denna tidpunkt gick Mette till terapi två gånger i veckan. Efterhand handlade livet uteslutande om dessa timmar.

Hon säger:

”Terapitimmarna övertog på många sätt mitt liv. Det var allt jag tänkte på. Han [terapeuten] gav mig en kassett han hade talat in, som jag lyssnade på mellan timmarna.”
[exempel på vad terapeuten talat in på denna kassett kan man läsa i den norska artikeln].

Mettes man märkte att något var galet, men förstod inte vad. Han kunde inte förstå varför hans fru verkade bli sämre av att gå i terapi. Mette berättade själv ingenting [se här också Helga i ”Vägar i livet”].

En kvinna, Randi Rosenqvist, jobbande inom detta (läkare eller psykolog?) säger att många medicinare är ambitiösa människor som har surfat genom livet på en våg av lyckanden. Läkare vaggas lätt in i tron att de vet vad som är bäst för folk.

”Vi vet att mycken psykiatrisk behandling inte har tillräckligt god kvalitet. Men vi är inte duktiga nog att påpeka när vi ser att kolleger inte ägnar sig åt det de håller på med."

Denna avsaknad av kritik öppnar för att övergrepp kan ske.

Varje år förlorar någon hälsoarbetare legitimationen på grund av övergrepp. Troligen är mörkertalen stora. I så gott som alla saker som Rosenqvist känner till menar läkaren själv att han varit på säker mark.

Alla har en ”god” förklaring till varför de bröt mot reglerna. Allt från en kärleksrelation till pseudopsykiatriska idéer om att patienten behövde en sexuell bekräftelse!!

En psykiater som forskat på erotisk beröring i det terapeutiska rummet säger att

"ingen av dessa förklaringar håller. ”
"En terapeut ska vara upptagen av klientens behov och känslor, inte sina egna. Att terapeuten själv tänker att det han/hon gör med klienten är positivt, legitimerar inte erotisk handling. Erotisk handling är obehaglig, förvirrande och skrämmande för en patient.”

Det hjälper inte att psykologen utvecklar känslor för den som går i terapi.

”Egen förälskelse är ingen garanti för att detta är bra för patienten”
understryker forskaren ovan.

1990, efter 6 år i terapi, arrangerade Mettes terapeut och en kollega till honom en adoptionsceremoni med Mette, där de klädde av henne och smörjde in henne med salva. Makten terapeuten hade fått över Mette var närmast allomfattande och terapin hade stadigt blivit allt mer intensiv.

Hösten 1992 bodde hon i två veckor på hans kontor, också detta som ett led i ”terapin”.

”Jag tror inte att jag hade kläder på mig under dessa fjorton dagar”
säger hon. Vid denna tidpunkt innebar den här terapin också att terapeuten klädde av sig och lade sig ovanpå Mette.

”Det kan gå flera år innan patienten som varit utsatt för övergrepp av behandlare klagar”

säger forskaren.
”De känner sig gärna som medskyldiga därför att de har varit med på de sexuella handlingarna. Många vet inte vad de kan förvänta sig när de går i terapi och senare är det lätt att tänka att ’det var en del av det’. Men det finns ingen jämlikhet i terapirelationen [Jennifer Freyd skriver i sin bok "Betrayal Trauma - The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Sexual Abuse" ISBN 0-674-06806-8 på s. 173-176 om något som hon benämner CSDM, Consensual Sex Desicion Mechanism, dvs. vad som är ömsesidighet i sex för att uttrycka det väldigt kortfattat.], bara utnyttjande. Reaktionen hos den som upplever patientövergrepp kan i några fall liknas de som incestoffer får.”
Detta skriver också Kirkengen, att denna typ av sex får samma skador som incest.

Offren anklagar sig själva, plågas av skam och skuld. Ibland är läkaren sjukdomen och inte kuren. Och terapi två gånger i veckan är intensiv terapi menar en expert i artikeln. I saken med de tre männen skedde behandlingen två timmar dagligen!!

”En sådan mängdterapi samt och att ha en terapeut som du kan ringa till dygnet runt skapar ett intensivt beroendeförhållande."

Enligt forskaren i artikeln så är det typiskt att övergriparen begränsar patientens kontakt med omvärlden för att skapa ett starkt beroende. Livet insnävas, maktövergreppet blir centralt. En annan känsla som verkar på övergriparen är att känna sig stor.

En god vän till Mette fattade efterhand oråd. Han frågade Mette rätt ut om det skedde konstiga saker på terapitimmarna och bad henne uppsöka en annan, kvinnlig psykolog. Gradvis berättade Mette för den kvinnliga psykologen vad som hade hänt. Detta förde till att hon våren 1993 skrev en officiell klagan.

I mötet med polisen hade hon svårt att dokumentera vad som faktiskt hade skett [se artikeln om trafficking och hur kvinnorna där reagerade!!?].

I terapirummet är det bara du och terapeuten i ett stängt/låst rum. Vad som föregår där inne blir ord mot ord.

”Och vem tror du blir trodd mest på?”
undrar Mette.
"En högt utbildad psykolog eller en 'spröd' patient?”

Mettes sak manglades runt ända till 1999. I juni 1998 hade Helsetilsynet riktat skarp kritik mot den behandling Mette hade fått; adoptionsceremonien, bristfällig journalföring och kroppsfixeringen i terapin. Slutsatsen var klar: Mettes terapeut fråntogs rätten att praktisera som psykolog – i ett år!! Mette drev saken vidare till civildomstol (?). Och då hade det gått 6 år sedan Mette för första gången sände in en klagan. Hon var nu fysiskt sjuk, utsliten och less på att kämpa.

Rosenqvist tror dock inte att straff har så stor förebyggande effekt. För alla övergripare har som sagt sin egen förklaring till varför just detta tillfälle var så speciellt.

För den som råkat ut för övergrepp är rädslan för att inte bli trodd det som hindrar många från att komma med sina historier och det är lätt för en terapeut att avfärda anklagelser med att detta är en hysterisk människa som fabricerar situationen.

En terapeut menar att deras etik borde vara strängare än lagens och påpekar att terapirummet är ett stängt rum och detta pålägger terapeuten ett stort ansvar.

Kirkengen skriver också om läkarens (och annan sjukvårdspersonals) maktposition, väl värt att läsa. Kanske återkommer jag till detta, liksom till vad Freyd har skrivit om CSDM.

Budskapet är helt klart: varje sexuell kontakt mellan patient och terapeut är oacceptabelt och det är terapeutens hela ansvar att inget händer.

Mette fick ersättning, men menar att

”En sak är skammen – du känner dig så ofantligt/ofattligt dum för att du inte märkte att något var galet. Dessutom mister du ju den person som du har gått till flera gånger i veckan i många år.”

Känslorna kan var outhärdliga. För henne kändes det som om en vägg bara försvann bakom hennes rygg och det inte fanns någon därbakom som tog emot henne.

Idag arbetar Mette som sagt som psykolog och skriver en fackbok om gränsöverskridandne i terapi. Hon fick högt blodtryck, svikande koncentrationsförmåga och talar om att hon inte har sovit en hel natt på över tio år. Hennes psykolog fick tillbaka sin legitimation efter ett år. Han praktiserar fortsatt som psykolog.

Jag tror att dessa saker är otroligt viktiga att prata om – öppet!!

Tillägg 25 november:

Alice Miller & Primal Therapy: A Summary

by Sam Turton

In 1981, a small, powerful book was published by Alice Miller, a Swiss psychoanalyst. Originally titled "Prisoners of Childhood," The Drama of the Gifted Child has become a classic, an inspirational wake-up call to childhood abuse. In Drama and eight other books, Miller has championed the rights of children and supported the arduous path of emotional healing through the recovery of repressed trauma.

When classic psychoanalysis did not uncover her hidden truth, in 1973 Dr. Miller began to get glimpses of her own painful history through spontaneous painting. Wishing to deepen her healing process, she began an encounter with primal therapy. Although initially enthusiastic about primal, Miller eventually became cautious and sometimes negative. Her shifting position has at times been confusing for her readers and for those in the primal community who have looked to her as a supportive voice for their pioneering work.

When Stephen Khamsi submitted his review of Miller's latest book, I felt it was necessary that her position on primal therapy be clarified for our members and newsletter readers. After a short email communication with Dr. Miller, I decided to create a summary by quoting excerpts from some of her books and other published articles.

My intention is to let Alice Miller's words speak for themselves. I understand that quotes published alone can create a different impression than intended in the original context. For a complete picture, I encourage interested readers to digest these works in their entirety. For the more obscure references, members are free to contact me for further information.

Books By Alice Miller

Prisoners of Childhood/The Drama of the Gifted Child, 1981
For Your Own Good, 1983
Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, 1984
Pictures of a Childhood, 1986
The Untouched Key, 1988
Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries, 1988
The Drama of the Gifted Child, (Revised) 1997
Breaking Down the Wall of Silence, 1997
Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios, 1999
The Truth Will Set You Free, 2001

Although The Drama of the Gifted Child was published in 1981, it was not until 1988 that Miller began to speak at length about primal therapy. Here are some quotations from:

Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries
Copyright 1988, Translation copyright 1990

"I was not out to paint beautiful pictures; even painting good pictures was not important to me. I wanted only to help the truth burst forth. I eventually succeeded, in 1983, with the aid of Konrad Stettbacher's therapy method, with which I deal in more detail later in this book." (preface, p. 7)

"Having just completed my manuscript of Shalt Not Be Aware, I devoted the last two pages to the therapy undergone by Mariella Mehr. Later I asked her for the name of her therapist, J. Konrad Stettbacher, and got in touch with him. He explained his method to me, and I decided to test his procedures on myself, since his concept embraced everything that during the last few years I had found to be true." (pp. 156-157)

"Apart from Stettbacher's recently published book, I know of no systematic description of primal therapy. When I visited the Institute for Primal Therapy in Paris in 1985 I addressed Janov on this subject. He accounted for the lack of a concept in his books by his concern that this form of treatment might be misused, and he considered only those students licensed by him as qualified to perform it. " (pp. 158-159)

". . . I am now free of physical symptoms, some of which I had suffered since childhood, and I have lost the fears that have also accompanied me all my life." (p. 163)

"After spending four years applying J. Konrad Stettbacher's carefully thought-out method to myself, I see ever more clearly that it amounts to the discovery of an inherent logical pattern in human beings, the functioning of which anyone can test." (p. 163)

"Thanks to its precision, Stettbacher's therapy offers a chance to track down the specific causes of those injuries and to carefully test accepted intellectual opinions and hypotheses on the subject of parents in concrete terms. But this can hardly be done without pain. If this pain cannot be endured because the emerging memories of actual abuse are so unbearable, one can understand that some patients abandon this treatment and remain locked in their self-destructive fixations." (pp. 165-166)

__________________________

In addition to supporting Stettbacher's form of primal therapy in Banished Knowledge, Dr. Miller also wrote a foreword and afterword in his book:

Making Sense of Suffering: The Healing Confrontation With Your Own Past, J. Konrad Stettbacher
Foreword September 1989 by Alice Miller

"J. Konrad Stettbacher's therapy furnishes proof that it is possible to resolve childhood repression safely and without confusion - something that has always been disputed by the most respected schools of thought." (p. 1)

"I have undergone this therapy myself and felt its astonishing, holistic effect on the body, mind, and emotions. Because I have done so, I have no hesitation about recommending it to others." (p. 3)

"As this therapy offers scope for the free, creative application of many possibilities, it will almost certainly help many of us make new discoveries - assuming, that is, that we are prepared to face the truth, whatever it may have in store for us." (p. 4)

__________________________

Breaking Down the Wall of Silence: The Liberating Experience of Facing Painful Truth

Foreword of First Meridian Edition, 1992

"The truth about childhood, as many of us have had to endure it, is inconceivable, scandalous, painful. Not uncommonly, it is monstrous. Invariably, it is repressed. To be confronted with this truth all at once and to try to integrate it into our consciousness, however ardently we may wish it, is clearly impossible. The capacity of the human organism to bear pain is, for our own protection, limited. All attempts to overstep this natural threshold by resolving repression in a violent manner will, as with every other form of violation, have negative and often dangerous consequences. The results of any traumatic experience, such as abuse, can only be resolved by experiencing, articulating, and judging every facet of the original experience within a process of careful therapeutic disclosure." (p. 1)

__________________________

The following are quotes from an interview with Alice Miller published in the German magazine Psychologie Heute. The interview is only available in German, but a representative of Psychologie Heute has permitted me to use an existing independent English translation. Dr. Miller was interviewed by Dr. Gerhard Tuschy, a neurologist and psychotherapist in Berlin.

The Psycho-Business and the Patient's Dignity
(Das psycho-geschaeft und die wuerde des patienten)
Psychologie Heute, April 1995

Miller: . . . since August, 1994, I no longer recommend Stettbacher's therapy and today I hold that primary therapy is fundamentally obsolete. In the epilogue to the new "Drama," I besides argue that primal therapy, even more than other forms of therapy, can be used to manipulate patients, because it begins with a several weeks long intensive phase, the so called 'Basis'.

. . . . . . . .

Tuschy: Have you had your own experience with the intensive phase called Basis which is so invasive?

Miller: Unfortunately, yes, not with Stettbacher, but with another primal therapist. I hold that what was expected of me was irresponsible. At the end of these three weeks my feelings were in a turmoil, so that I could not find sleep, that for the first time in my life I thought of suicide, and had anxiety verging on the psychotic. I was already fearful of this therapy that robbed my organism of sleep, but I could nowhere escape it. The ghosts that I called for did not allow themselves to be chased away. Despite this desperation, I wanted no medicine.

. . . . . . . .

Miller: . . . Today I would never more enter such a risk, because one can lose too many worthwhile years of life through such an experiment. I went then into Basis not adequately oriented, which today I describe as a trap. To get out of this trap, I tried to do writing therapy in accordance to the concept recommended by Stettbacher to me, and it helped me to bring some order into the chaos arising from the Basis. At that time I rewrote hundreds of pages. I wrote almost every morning. Writing helped me to save my autonomy. By this my anxiety was reduced and I learned better to live with my now broken up feelings.

Tuschy: And that won you over so much for Stettbacher's variation of primal therapy that you supported him in your publications?

Miller: Yes, the method he stood for appeared for the time being to avoid what in Basis I experienced as life threatening: total regression into earlier anxiety and the being delivered to a man who exploits this dependency of his patient, who uses the patient as a means to disguise his inner insecurity. My initial positive experiences and Stettbacher's assurances that he would be in a position to train therapists brought me to recommend these methods.

. . . . . . . . . .

Tuschy: Have you, in both your primal therapies, been able to lift your childhood amnesia?

Miller: Not really.

. . . . . . . . . .

Miller: . . . Today I see the cathartic road therefore as a wrong track, because in this work more defenses possibly are demolished than is necessary.

. . . . . . . . . .

Miller: . . . It depressed me very much that I have obviously contributed to this avalanche of nearly unfulfillable hopes of therapy. Fortunately today there are more effective and less risky therapy methods.

__________________________

Dr. Miller's growing reputation led to multiple reprintings of Drama. In 1997, a revised English version was released - with a strong Afterword that stated her new position.

Drama of the Gifted Child (Revised Edition)
From the Afterword, translated by Andrew Jenkins, 1995

"In the last few years we have been able to observe a veritable boom in the number of different approaches used. Body therapy, bioenergetics, gestalt, and primal therapy are only a few of the terms indicative of this new departure. In many cases noticeable successes were achieved merely by enabling patients to experience their own feelings and thus relieving them of the bodily pressures they were previously subject to. In other cases, however, the result was an addictive dependence on feelings of pain. This in its turn reinforced the dependence on the therapist as healer." (p. 121)

"Such things as the darkened-room setting and the intensive phase in primal therapy strongly encourage regression, sometimes to the point of total helplessness on the part of the patient and an attendant uncritical idealization of the therapist. This regression to the status of a small child puts the patient in an extremely vulnerable position where he/she can easily be taken advantage of by an insensitive therapist." (p. 121)

"It is not possible for me today to recommend one method over another or to assume responsibility for a particular therapist. This responsibility must be left entirely to the reader." (p. 122 )

__________________________

The following is an English translation of an influential article in the Swiss newspaper "DER BUND", 4.7.95, Berne:

KMB. At the time, the proceedings were the first of their kind to be instituted against a psychotherapist in the Canton of Berne and took place in February 1983. As early as August 1977, U. Sch. had made accusations against her therapist, J. Konrad Stettbacher, of indecent assault on various occasions, indecent acts, unlawful coercion and violations of the law on the practice of the medical profession. According to the report in DER BUND at the time, chief presiding judge Hans-Rolf Schweingruber referred to the proceedings in his summing-up as "a rare case that has been difficult for all those participating in it." Although the defendant was acquitted, Schweingruber conceded that a degree of uneasiness remained. Stettbacher, who was only found guilty of some time-barred infringements of the medical laws, was awarded compensation amounting to 20,000 Swiss francs for unwarranted damage to his reputation. The costs of the proceedings (8,000 francs) were borne by the State.

__________________________

In 1996, Miller wrote the foreword to another book:

Reclaiming Your Life: A step-by-step guide to using regression therapy to overcome the effects of childhood abuse
Jean Jenson, 1995, Foreword by Alice Miller, 1996

"Regression to the stage of early infancy is not a suitable method in and of itself. Such a regression can only be effective if it happens in the natural course of therapy and if the client is able to maintain adult consciousness at the same time." (p. ix)

"Jean Jenson's approach reflects her obvious awareness of this fact. It helps the adult to mourn the losses of childhood without at the same time losing himself in the chaos of his own feelings. In the seventies Jean Jenson experienced primal therapy in operation at Arthur Janov's Institute. Later, however, she went on to develop a therapy design that, in the all-important question of regression and the understanding of what actually happens in the therapeutic process, represents a notable advance on that particular method." (pp. ix-x)

"Today I know that a method that is successful for one person will not necessarily be successful for another. This applies to all methods, and primal therapy is no exception. Some people insist that it saved their lives; others say that they got nothing out of it, that in fact it did them considerable harm. Then again there are people who have benefited from therapy without being confronted with the past at all." (pp. x-xi)

__________________________

Breaking Down the Wall of Silence, (Revised)
May 1996, translated by Andrew Jenkins

". . . In the last few years I have come to the conclusion that primal therapy is not always free of dangers, that it is imperative for it to be embarked upon under expert guidance and not as a form of self-therapy. This conclusion is tantamount to a retraction of my earlier ideas on this subject.

. . . Numerous studies on cult groups have enlightened us on the latest methods of human manipulation. It transpires that these groups frequently use primal therapy techniques to brainwash the members they have recruited into a state of regression and thus make them completely docile and malleable. Thus primal therapy runs the risk of being misused for commercial purposes and reinforcing the individual's dependency on the group rather than encouraging his autonomy, as I had originally hoped. Today, however, therapists are using new approaches with awareness both of the advantages of primal therapy (its closeness to feelings) and of its dangers (manipulation and addictive dependency on pain), and they attempt to use this awareness to the benefit of their patients." (p. ix)

__________________________

The following are excerpts from a special communication published on the World Wide Web 10.9.1996.

Alice Miller - Communication To My Readers

"I should like to inform my readers that I no longer, in any way, support or recommend the therapy developed and practiced by Mr. J. Konrad Stettbacher."

"Only in 1994 did I learn that he had no formal qualifications in psychology. . . and as of June 1995 he has been formally prohibited from conducting a psychotherapeutic practice in Berne, Switzerland, his place of residence."

"I tried Stettbacher's method out on myself. At first I was impressed, and when I gave it my recommendation, I saw no reason to doubt that it might be helpful in other cases as well, as was apparently confirmed by case studies reporting major initial successes using this method."

"In the meantime a number of years have passed and I now have access to further information that has made me more skeptical about primal therapy as a form of self-help. The quick successes have not always had a lasting effect, and in many cases massive anxieties set in, so strong that clients found it impossible to cope with them without therapeutic support."

"My misgivings about the intensive phase were strengthened when I was confronted in 1995 by articles and interviews (cf.FACTS 26/95, Zurich and DER BUND, 4.7.95, Berne) reporting on accusations of sexual interference with patients."

"The main reason for my interest in a safe and effective self-help concept was the large number of readers' letters that I had been receiving daily since the appearance of Drama in 1979, many of them revolving around the abuse of patients during therapies of various kinds. I hoped that an effective form of self-help would be a way of counteracting this abuse."

__________________________

Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios
Translation copyright 1998

"Both Sigmund Freud, in his early years, and Arthur Janov were inspired by the hope that remembering and consciously re-experiencing a traumatic situation could bring about lasting relief from its consequences. This hope has not been entirely fulfilled. I know of cases where improvement has been achieved without recourse to the reactivation of memories, and others where the reenactment of the past and years of therapy has done nothing to alleviate the patient's condition." (p. 147)

"At all events, the primal therapists who have been trained more recently have increasingly moved away from the initial absolutism. Many of them combine primal therapy techniques with other methods. The techniques developed over twenty years ago are used less often today; many therapists have jettisoned both the "intensive phase" and the darkened room. Most of them have discovered that they have no need of such things in order to enable their patients to get in touch with their feelings." (pp. 147-148)

__________________________

The following is an official announcement posted to the Primal Support Group email list at Alice Miller's request:

Primal Support Group
Saturday, May 5, 2001 7:22 pm

"Dear Visitors: Today I should not be identified with any kind of regressive therapy. Since 1994, I don't support Stettbacher and since 1999 I have been trying to remove my preface from the book published by Jean Jenson. People who wish to know more about my reasons and my current opinions on therapy can visit my website www.alice-miller.com on page ARTICLES, or my letters to my forum."

__________________________

The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self, 2001

"I tried next to get on the track of it with the help of primal therapy. I succeeded in discovering many of the feelings I had had in early infancy but failed to understand the entire context of early childhood reality and to allow the truth to surface because I had no enlightened witness to stand by me in this endeavor. Today I would not readily advise anyone to pursue this course (unless they are very certain of the therapist's qualifications and expertise) because many apparently enlightened witnesses may arouse intense feelings in their patients without assisting them in extricating themselves from their personal chaos." (pp. 132-133)

__________________________

Conclusions

For Alice Miller, "Truth" has always been a key word, and this article is an attempt to summarize her truth. One person's truth, however, is not another's - we must attempt to find out the truth for ourselves. From reading Miller's words, each of us can come to our own conclusions. Feel free to send me yours. Mine will be published in the next IPA Newsletter.


Sam Turton practices Primal Integration in Guelph, Ontario, Canada, and co-leads therapist training programs at the Primal Integration Center of Michigan. His extensive writings on primal can be viewed at www.primalworks.com.

This article appeared in the Spring 2002 IPA Newsletter.