måndag 17 september 2007

To reflect...

Came to think once again about the issue traveling ... And the unquestionable benefits of that ... (am I reacting against musts and shalls?). The automatic benefits of seeing other cultures, societies, circumstances ... And it is probably good to see other things, get perspectives... But do one automatically gets wiser, more wise than those which doesn't travel as much? And doesn't many have tendencies to forget fairly quickly? The ones that have traveled round the world a couple of times which I am acquaintance with are they different or more enlightened than others??

The Swedish professor in religion psychology Owe Wikström has written about this, even self-ironically (because he has traveled quite a bit I think both privately and in his work), and he has written about traveling and rushing sweaty through Louvren for instance (in a trial to see as much as possible) and throwing a gaze at Mona Lisa there on the wall, and then rushing further... (with this said: I have never been in Paris, or France, and I am quite eager myself when I at last do something, when I travel for instance... to share things, experiences, what I have read etc.).

And he has also written about backpackers. He wonders over what they are doing and why... Wondering if they are fleeing from something. He just wonders silently over this phenomenon. Are they afraid of reflection, to make a journey inside, but sooner or less a developmental crisis comes he thinks, and that is sound he means, a sign of that one is living human being, which fels and senses things?

And of course it mustn't have to be about fleeing, if or when you travel, but can't it be about that!?

I thought about the talk I had a week ago or so, about the automatic benefits of traveling... And this has been added with other things: the benefits of talking, just that one talks solves everything?? What one talks about and why one talk... That's of minor interest!! Or even no interest at all it seems!? The talking in itself solves everything!?? I get a little tired by this, to say it mildly...

I have a boss fond of talking... (and of course I can talk a lot too, in certain circumstances, with a lot of eagerness :-) and write even more).

Another Swedish psychologist Patricia Tudor-Sandahl (born in Great Britain) has written several books of which one is about "Time to be alone" ("Tid att vara ensam" ISBN 91-48-18289-6 in Swedish). And in that about meeting oneself, and how scary that can be...

She writes for instance that she now and then want to be alone, escape the everyday life. Thinks that the inner voice is heard better when the environment is quiet and calm. She then feels clearer where she is heading (in what direction her life is turning) and if it's in that direction she really want to go.

Her need for loneliness has grown with the years. She likes to be with others, but the time for herself helps her to take care of her relations better she thinks and not wasting a time that goes faster and faster the older she gets...

The self-chosen loneliness is stimulating she thinks, but also challenging. It can also feel frightening. But with her book she want to encourage people to defy the fear...

But they don't want to moralize over how and what people do (I am a little bit morefond of Wikström I think)... Means that sometimes people don't have any choices...

But should we need encouragement to reflect over things instead, much more, but it is less and less of this everywhere in society today (people are rushing, stressed)?? But, yes, to start reflecting over oneself, ones life, over circumstances, over the state of affairs... That's too scary for many?? Much too scary? It's easier to push things away, close your eyes, ears, senses, maybe even more today?? Probably very understandable?? (By the way, Kirkengen writes about being forced to numb ones senses: a young girl that got deaf because she couldn't stand hearing the one which sexually abused her, when he violated her... She was tested as deaf in adolescence. But as grown up she suddenly could hear again. And the man which was taught to see shadows and thus learned to see colors as grown up in painting lessons he had joined, because he had to numb his color seeing after an event in the shower, when there came blood in the water after he had been abused sexually, literally penetrated... How horrible both these things, and maybe this is extremes? But are they? How may of us haven't had to numb senses we don't are aware of a all?? That we don't even know exists?I just wonder, am not saying it is so... But think if it is more usual than we think or can imagine).

But what are we scared for actually?
"Oh, no, I am not scared!!!"
many would reply.

What are we actually fleeing from?
"I am not fleeing from anything!"
The reality we are fleeing from is it after all less scary than the reality we experienced when we were small, help and powerless kids??? And therapists don't think we can be confronted with this truth?? It would be too much for us, we just have to learn to cope, there are no other options.

But information and prevention against these things would be really needed, wouldn't it? And why aren't the ones that ought to know informing or trying to prevent?? Why don't so caled experts do this??? I wonder quite ironically.

But I think it doesn't have to be too much for a person to confront with the right help... Though it probably is a hard work...

And a work noone wouldn't have to do necessarily, if these things were possible to mention with name, highly and openly and frankly!!??

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