More morning thoughts…

A chilly day, cloudy… No windows (the glass-part) in three windows here. So it’s cold inside too!! The red-painting (Falu red-paint) of the house-walls goes much faster than painting the windows!! So that will soon be done! Maybe today already!?

Bosch writes at page 277 about having to fight to keep the defences up (using energy on that, never really relaxed?);

“…defences with which we have erroneously identified because we need to fend off old pain”.

Defences we have to keep up/on place to protect ourselves against the pain and truth... And thus we sacrifice the reality more or less, the here and now, relations here and now etc. See what Freyd writes…

Came to think about what Miller writes, about directing things at scapegoats (needing targets to act on, act out on, against) and that doing this don’t dissolve anything anyway… Even if it feels relieving in short term, or sometimes even for a while? As for instance when parents abreact themselves (symbolizes) at their children… And children have nothing to put against without help or support or enlightened witnesses. Grown ups have other possibilities and options, mostly?? But they can have difficulties with this (because of their repressed pains) and are diagnosed, too, on top.

The best way to protect oneself would be to process old things (to a certain degree, so we are less in “the spell” of old, early things), get that help, or do it ourselves (if one can manage on ones own). Came to think what a physician and gestalt-therapist said:

“I have a cock-horse (käpphäst in Swedish) and that is not to say how others are.”

Yes, that about diagnosing and labelling others… Can be projections… And often are?? Says things about oneself?? Which one instead should (try to) understand to free oneself and cope with things in the here and now?? If one can…

Bosch writes about how Past Reality Integration Therapy views DSM-IV diagnostic diagnoses… And that defences are the core of our problems in the present reality, and that the idea of letting go of our defences is dangerous we still thinks and believes as adults (and professionals do too), is an idea that stems from the child’s consciousness, but isn’t true for an adult. But it isn’t only to tear them down just like that either (or moralize over people’s defences)!! You have to be aware and know that fears and pain comes from the past, shortly said. The Freudian idea has been and still is among many helpers, according to Bosch, that we need to keep these defences on place even in adulthood, but other therapists today don’t think one has to. See Freyd again and what she writes about these things, what all this not-spoken, hidden, secret causes, what we sacrifice and that she thinks it is possible to deal with these early things… I like what she writes about this...

Also came to think what Miller wrote about a man compulsively occupied with a woman he had had a love relation with, that wasn’t interested in him any longer, if she had ever been (a woman that had used him badly and this made him even more tied up to her?), he couldn’t skip this occupied ness of her before he had uncovered a relation to an early figure in his life (I don’t know who; his mother??). After he had succeeded doing this it was no problem for him at all to skip this woman.

Maybe one should be careful with all sorts of diagnosing??

To narrate, write diary, articulate and express things, keep communication/conversation alive would be of help for many, maybe the only needed help for some (many?) and be of help for the more harmed too. To talk highly about these things would mean a lot I think, for all.

Further thinking: Thinking of, only some have to, and only some are worth being thought of??? I wonder ironically… You are forbidden to sound the slightest unfriendly to some, but to others it is allowed and nobody hears (the latter’s) unfriendliness!!??

A silent approval of things, even on this level (!!!); that some children were (and are) allowed acting their things out on other children, which in turn weren’t allowed to react or protest or question… And noone was allowed to point these state of affairs out. To criticize sensitive parents!!! How was it with this sensitiveness in fact?? I wonder quietly and ironically… That all was alike and equally worth, how was and is it with this???

“You have to, but they don’t have to”

the gestalt therapist mentioned above said, in this case about bosses at a work-place.

“No wonder one gets angry!” (the forbidden anger!?)

If you point things out (if you are sad and angry etc. about things, different treatment) a certain parent gets sad and even hurt… This parent is allowed getting sad, hurt etc. But this sensitiveness doesn’t mean you are sensitive to others… Whose feelings is it actually about? All people’s feelings? Are all allowed to exist on the same terms? On equal terms?

And by the way, we spoke about high bosses yesterday. They are well-paid (very much) but don’t dare to react and intervene when things occur at a work-place. But aren’t they paid for doing exactly this? And, yes, we spoke about psychopathic bosses… They are a bigger problem than if someone on ones own level has such traits?? (have there come more people of this sort today in today’s working life?)

After having painted for a couple of hours: came to think out there working about that you can’t dissolve things symbolically, if that had been the case we who work with artistic things, expressing things, probably, we can’t and/or aren’t allowed to express by other means, would have been cured. But we aren’t, don’t get. Acting on symbols, other targets, objects here and now on the present doesn’t dissolve… If that is what we want. But yes, we need to react here and now too… All isn’t symbolic reactions?? But the more you have dissolved the more you know what is about the present and what is about the past!?

And parents would also dissolve things by reacting (symbolising) on their children if it was so that you can do this work symbolically (isn’t a lot of therapy about this: to work symbolically on ones problems?), but they don’t either. And dictators would also dissolve things symbolically, but they don’t either, they can never get enough of what they need (their early, unmet needs)?? Miller writes about this in her first book…

Now I am thinking highly and letting the thoughts go here and there… Writing what comes to my mind…

And it has come a couple of rain showers during the day.