tisdag 20 november 2007

What we need and - maybe should't need...

photo taken 15 minutes ago on a walk.
Denying our needs of for instance other people can be an expression of the defense False power denial of needs??

To protect us against an old feeling that has been triggered in the present? A feeling from a time in life when we were totally dependent, power- and helpless... And when this feeling of powerlessness is triggered in the present (whether we are conscious about it or not) we resort to this defense, without being able to control it...

We easily replace this need with a perverted need?? Something we in fact wouldn't need if we were our "true selves" more, or didn't have to keep things in check and control as we are carrying inside us?? How much efforts and energy do we have to use to keep this in control? Making us blind? Both to the wonders and horrors in this world as Jennifer Freyd so well describes it, and for being able to adequately protect ourselves against things we need to protect ourselves against, but dare to come near what we don't have to protect ourselves against??And more clearly see the difference?

But there is no reason to moralize over such a fear... At all. And maybe not so easy to come to terms with either, sadly to say... So there are no reasons to minimize or belittle these things at all. And think this and that is harmless for a child, or the child we were...

PS. An article in Norway about that "children keep quiet about sexual abuse in childhood, why is that"...

PPS.Abuse of trust, power, dependency, love... No wonder that child gets problems later in life with all these things... Even to being totally handicapped!! Jennifer Freyd (or Judith Herman??) has found that the betrayal of the one seeing but not intervening is even more painful than the abuse in itself... Not being allowed to express the disappointment and rage...

Tillägg: Miroslav Volf: “The end of Memory. Remembering rightly in a violent world” ska vi bara glömma det onda?

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