[Updated in the end November 20, in Swedish]. Phew, we have three meetings today, directly after lunch. The piano-teachers were supposed to present how they are working… Ok! Of course we can!!?? But now one of us is occupied at the hospital for checking what a fairly severe eczema on the right hand is about… So I think we are not going to present our work!!??
But why are we going to present it? What is the purpose? Where does this idea come from?? Maybe this sounds very - how shall I put it?
I don’t feel motivated for this the slightest bit, which is strange!? Despite all my interest and passion for my work, or because of that?? I hope I am not loosing it…
What about pedagogically explaining why we are going to do this?
There is only a lot of talk that sounds so fine but leads to nothing… And on our last work-place-meeting (with us all) we had to fill in a form if we have any side-work and what sort and to what amount. This is something new. But noone has told why we have to, or from where this comes, for what purpose. And going through this material (we are 40 full- or part-time employed) doesn't this take time for someone higher in the organization?? Could this time be used better? And, k, do you have anything to hide??? Hmmm... What should that be?? So I don't wok too much, which would interfere with my work?
Maslach and Leiter also writes about confidence in ones employees... But I feel as if we are like sheep, tended like sheep (vallade runt som får). Sometimes not treated as grown ups and other times... Oh, am I about to turn old and angry? (I DON'T look forward to those meetings!! That's what it is about?? :-)After them I am so exhausted so I should need to go straight back home and relax!! But now I have to have 8 pupils before I can go home!! The 11-12 year old girls I start with use to look at me as question-marks, astonished, smiling, because I am so in another world after those meetings!? I notice it too, I hope! Calling Maja Clara etc. Thinking Maja played on the concerts before the autumn-holiday when she didn't. Phew!! You know, you shall keep everything in check!!).
I also came to think about this with cooperation again… (Cooperation - say the word and I see red!?? :-)). Working in teams… But since we started to do this (1991) it feels as one has less influence on things than earlier (I have been working for such a long time, so I think I can compare)!!! Instead of the opposite, as it was said this should lead to!! (but I too thought the resources weren't used in our work as it was earlier). Struck me: but hasn’t Maslach and Leiter written about this in their book too?? Things are delegated but with this real influence or power doesn't follows, so… You have to take responsibility for things you don’t really have power or influence over in a way or in many ways!!! No wonder people get tired, and those that are most responsible-taking easily gets exhausted!!?? But of course I think the roots for being overly responsible-taking lies early…
See what Bosch writes about burnout again.
These persons fault and responsibility which are too much responsible-taking!! It's nothing goof with them?? They are to blame!? And they are probably already harshly blaming themselves!? Practical and convenient for the environment!! Too. There are no faults in the organization!!?? But in the individual, only!!?? (that about individualizing everything... If there isn't one extreme it is the other!? And that about flexibility too...)
And also see the “case-histories” on PRI-web! Many of those in the case-histories which sought help had got exhausted…
Being so angry isn't good for you!! In fact A-C, a colleague, said a Monday when we left the school where we work on Mondays that to be so angry isn't good for the body... She was very angry and upset she too, and very tired over things, and thought she had been misinterpreted when she had tried to say something, but she thought it was no idea to try to explain what she actually had meant. She had said on the "development-group" which she belongs to (excuse me I am coughing!!) that she thought we are working as in our own separate music-school each one of us, instead of together in one and the same music-school.
What about bothering about understanding what she actually meant?? So now our bosses thinks we need more parties (!!!! our female and highest boss) and the other that we need to go on tour together (that is playing together out in schools) that's the medicine... What about professionally working, as professional workers?? We are treated like babies in a way and in a way not! :-) But you know artist people are so in the blue, they don't know anything abut practical things or organizing!??? They don't live in this world!!?? Or I don't know...
And noone knows what the development-group does!! Isn't that strange?? And the members of that group have been chosen on what grounds? By whom? And why? The ones that have ideas the boss thinks are alright, and which don't compete with our bosses ideas and fantasy or lack of ideas and fantasy? Because, think if someone else has ideas? Am I entirely fair here?
PS. The truth is that they don't really know what they are doing? But maybe they think they do... Do I know what I am doing at work??
And Maslach and Leiter writes about valuation conflicts (värderingskonflikter) and what they can lead to... If one hasn't clear and outspoken goals... Maybe there is no doubt which ours are??? To teach children to play!!?? But I don't think so... Our concerts, how we meet and treat our pupils etc. etc. etc. that's also what our work is about.
If we haven't spoken about these things we easily row in all different directions and the boat doesn't move in any direction, is stuck!!?? Or it gets tipped over and - what?
And on the way there are misunderstandings, misinterpretations etc. While we are thinking we are speaking the same language? A sigh... Things we aren't even aware of maybe?? And noone understands why there are problems? Which has to be prevented!? (self ironically...)
The rebel here??? :-) Hmmm...
That about communication!!! Hmmm...
PPS. Om folks påstådda fuskande: kolla denna artikel i Aftonbladet!!
Tillägg 20 november: också om skolan, en insändare "Högt betyg viktigare än rätt betyg" .